It's humbling...

...what pain can do to a person. Or maybe I guess it's surprising how powerful those pain meds were that they had going into the IV yesterday. Yesterday I had a port put into the right side of my chest (like Michelle said, "shouldn't it be called a starboard then instead of a port?"), and the pain meds definitely wore off at about 11 last night. Pain started throbing, tears came down my face as I was attempting to brush my teeth but my right wing just didn't want to move the brush. Tears, hugs, cuddles, and prayers finally got me to sleep until about 5 when I must have moved in my sleep and jolted myself awake.

This morning was a difficult one for me. I knew from the beginning that this cancer would force me to show how reliant I am on others and how much those who love me want to help out. I was able to put on my pants this morning but that was about it. I got a shirt and the nurse said to start with the weak wing first. I put that through the arm and Sarah tried to get the rest of the shirt on me. Not horrendous because I knew that I couldn't move both arms enough to do it. The pain from the incision, pulled muscles, and then the muscles not being able to move back into place because of the port was just too much. My feet were cold though and then the tears came again when I realized that I couldnt even move my arm enough to get my socks on. It's hard to realize how much you need to appreciate the ability to do just the most simple daily tasks.

Throughout the day the pain has been managable, haven't even taken any meds today since I've got an office job so pretty much I only need to move my fingers and hands as I type and move a mouse :-). I'm sure that tonight I'll need help again and hopefully the healing continues throughout the weekend. I can feel the discomfort but it isn't as much of a throbbing pain right now. I need to move enough so that the muscles stretch back into place, but can't push it too far.

Thank you Mittens! You are the best wife a man could ever ask for. I've been blessed with so much compassion, love, and the comforting touch. I may be sick right now, but God has been good to me. Today my body is weak and makes me think of what Jimmy V said in his ESPY speech, "Cancer can take away all of my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart, and it cannot touch my soul." I'm fortunate that my cancer is going to be cured in time, but still, even though I'm in pain right now from this, like Jimmy V, it will not touch my mind, heart, or soul.

I'm sore right now, but it will get better. It gets better just getting the feelings out in writing. This blog is as good at keeping people updated as it is therapeutic for me.

Don't give up, don't ever give up!

Keep praying...