Today marks the beginning of Lent. A time to reflect on life, reflect on Christ's suffering and death, and reflect on the glory that awaits. It is a time to fast, it is a time to give of yourself. As a fellow Yooper fighting for the truth, Dustin Katona, posted today on Facebook: Fasting ends lust, roots out bad thoughts, frees one from evil dreams. Fasting makes for purity of prayer, an enlightened soul, a watchful mind, a deliverance from blindness. Fasting is the door of compunction, humble sighing, joyful contrition, end to chatter, an occasion for stillness, a custodian of obedience, a lightening of sleep, health of the body, a remission of sins, the gate, indeed the delight of Paradise.
Unfortunately today is also one of those darn treatment days and although it isn't a Holy Day of Obligation I'm a bit bummed that I dont think I'll make it to mass. I'm sure I could push myself later tonight and go, but today is a day that I like going early so you can wear your ashes all day as a sign for others.
But even more, this Ash Wednesday, like other things, is suddenly much different. I am but a mortal begging for God's mercy and grace. Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return. I'm well aware of that. When you have tumors in your neck, chest cavity, and abdomin you quickly are reminded that every day is a gift and a day that needs to be lived to the fullest. I'm going to fight through this and it will be but a life-changing memory, but it is also quite interesting to think that I'm most likely getting a glimpse into what the face of my killer looks like. Will cancer eventually be what brings me back to dust? I don't know, but I'm not going to worry about that right now because I have an amazing wife, beautiful baby on the way, wonderful family, and happy little puppy to keep living for and with right now.
My reminder today won't be ashes - it will be much darker. I don't want to go. I would much rather work a long day in the office. I don't like it. I've never consistently dreaded something more. I even dread it much more than my past job in Bellevue (and many of you know how much I dreaded that one). But God will give me strength when I am weak. It will also be another chance to pray, to fast, and to be reminded that my suffering is nothing compared to what Christ went through during his journey to Golgotha.
I can do everything through him who gives me strength... Philippians 4:13
Again with that inspiring faith, AJ. I think that even if I were to add up all of my little sufferings throughout the days, they would pale in comparison to facing the giant who stands in your path, friend. I continue to pray for you and your beautiful family, and I know that God has been using this time to strengthen all of you. +JMJ+
ReplyDelete