Up, Down, Touch the Ground, Getting in the Mood...

Wow... so it seems like a lot has happened since I last wrote anything. But then again if you told me that it was only a week ago Saturday that I found out I had cancer I'd probably say "nooooooooo it's been at least 2 weeks." I guess that's what happens when you are overloaded with information, bombarded with tests and appointments, trying to focus at work, and appreciating all the positive feedback, success stories, and love from all of you.

Let me tell ya, it's hard to admit that we are dealing with Stage 3 (verdict is still out on Stage 4), but the success stories are just as prevalent. I'm gonna beat this thing.

I'd say I've been remaining pretty positive. I definitely have some anxiety going on inside with the chemo starting tomorrow. Chemo 1a at 1:00 on 11/11. No I didn't schedule that on purpose :-). I really hope my body responds well and I can still have my energy but I also know this was part of God's way of telling me to slow down and appreciate life. And the way I look at it, I might be fatigued or needing a barf bucket, but I'm going to get through it, the cancer cells are dying. Little unwelcome punks. I never thought I would say this, but man I wish I drank more. Doc told me that alcoholics deal with chemo the best because their liver is so used to processing toxins. Hopefully it won't be too rough. I'll make it though. But I'm nervous - just need to give it up to Him who saves us and takes those worries away. "Cast all your worries unto Him for He cares." 1 Peter 5:7.

But I'm also really excited for these days. TODAY IS CHRISTMAS. We know that I'm a little technology nerd and when I get something technological I want the best. Well today I'm going to get home and on our doorstep is going to be a Refurbished 3G iPhone for Sarah (thanks hun for not being high maintenance like me) and a 3Gs for me :-). I need to get it all set up so that I can keep you up to date on how fun it is getting poked for another IV and entertain myself tomorrow.

Wanna know why else I'm excited? I want to go home and play with Nikki. Who is Nikki you ask? Great question. She is our almost 8 week old golden retriever that Sarah's parents got for us on Sunday. And is she cute. I knew she would be the best therapeutic dog when we got her, I laid down, and she snuggled into the side of my neck with the cancer, exhaled and just didn't move. She knows why we got her and what her challenge is. We'll love her just as much. I'll let Sarah post a blog about her since she is really excited. I just like going home and saying "How is the love of my life? And how is my favorite little girl?"

I told people at work about things today and of course got a really positive response. I knew CBRE and our IOS team was a good group of people.

Anxious, nervous, ready to shave, hopeful, hoping not to use the barf bucket, excited, iPhone, puppy love, will it burn when it goes in? how am I supposed to focus? normal, He will heal me, keep praying.

Just some words to answer the question "How are you doing?"