I've got a fire in my gut

and a desire to learn in my brain.

I was thinking last night that there is part of me that would love to relive high school and college.  I know what you are thinking right now, "WHAT!! Why the heck???  That doesn't make sense?" and I would agree that I wholeheartedly am with you on that.  Now I must say that I was a decent athlete in high school.  I never was going to get any college scholarships for basketball, but I enjoyed it while it lasted and I was a decent shooting guard.  In college I played not nearly enough pick-up games of basketball (would have if my priorities would have been a bit better - too late now), and then picked up playing tennis a bit.  I signed onto the tennis team in college but never played but in the practice squad (I think it was moreso just invited to play while they were practicing).  One of the things we had to do during one of the first practices was run 6 miles.  ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND.  I think about 2.5 or 3 miles in I was back from the pack enough that I pretty much just gave up.

I'd love to relive those days with what I have now.  I'm serious, I've got a fire in my gut.  And my biggest competition is looking back at me in the mirror these days.  I dont know if it's fighting off the last bit of poison that could be camped out in my system, my body never wanting to get to where it was during treatment (or needing treatment) and that isn't to say I'm in great shape now because I have a ways to go, or if its just getting older and realizing that I need to compete against myself to keep myself moving.

I really dont think it is a big deal, but I do enjoy the reactions I get when people ask how long my bike commute is and how long it takes me "16 miles and I'm right around 40 minutes depending on how my legs feel."  I can see the quick math in their heads and then the reactions come.  My all-time best clocked in at 37:41 and that day I pulled in an average of 23.6 mph.  Nothing at all when you consider that is what the pros do over 100 miles of terrain with significant elevation.  But if I'm not above 20.0 on my way into work or 18.6 on my way home, I get ticked.  Even on days when I'm going to "take it easy" something gets to me when I look down and know I could do better or see someone in front of me.  As long as my heart rate is in a good position I'll push on.  Dont worry, I do discipline myself when my legs need a rest.  But after I get that rest and they feel fresh, I also let them hurt.

But still, that isn't what got me thinking of going back to the days of high school.  I HATE running.  Let me rephrase that.  I HATED running.  Just last night I got home and told Sarah that I think I'm really starting to enjoy running.  Rather than feeling winded and wondering when I can stop or if I should walk for a portion, I just keep the legs moving.  Last night I had the thought in my head (not the most responsible for training for half marathon so I wont do it) "wouldnt it be cool to just start running with no end in sight just to see how far I could go.  When would I finally say it's time to stop and have someone pick me up."  If I did a loop I'd have an end and reason to quit, but if I went out, there would be no end.  I think that would be fun.  I used to ride or run with my iPod but not anymore.  Safer on the bike, but also I just dont need it.  When I'm cycling, whether it is a 16 mile commute or a 80+ mile ride, and now when I'm out running, that is the BEST thinking time I get.  We are filled with too many things - the TV, the cell phone, the computer, the kids, the housework, and on and on.  There is always "stuff" going on.  And I get the best time to process my day, think of new things, meditate, and just see what God is up to while I'm running or biking.

Running has become fun because I've also got a desire in my brain.  I've become a much better cyclist by educating myself on various things about cycling.  I'm so much more efficient and stronger now.  In the same way I didn't like that the last time I was running my left knee was hurting.  So when I started back up, I started by educating myself about technique.  It's crazy how it "comes natural" yet there is so much that goes into running, that if you really just educate yourself about it and get good technique you can become so much more efficient.  I feel great running and I'm starting to really like it.

The fire in my gut has given me a competitive spirit I have never had and I love it!!!