Get Behind Me Satan

Matthew 16:23 - Jesus turned to Peter and said, "Get behind me Satan."

Tonight is one of those nights and that is just how I feel.  I'm sick of the devil taunting me.  I'm sick of him sticking his slimy, unloved, unwelcome, cancer-stricken face into my life.  In fact I'd even like to use some choice words but where will that get me?

It started about a week ago and then I was reminded of it yesterday - and again this morning, and then tonight.  Nothing much.  Nothing that the average Joe would even think twice about.  A slight lingering of tightness in the back of my throat.  You know that feeling when it seems like you just might be getting sick in the next week or so.  I've got that a little bit right now.  Has come and gone.  Gone more than come.  Try to give myself the added reminder to not forget to take my multivitamin (haven't been the best on that lately), my vitamin D, and see where I can add some flax seed.  But that ugly pointed tail and those two horns on top of the filthy head still linger.

I'm not the "average Joe."  I'm a cancer survivor.  In fact I'm less than 4 months away from my first cancerversary.  Never thought I'd be celebrating something like that at only 27 years old.  But this is my life.  This is the new normal I'm blessed with, but also cursed with from the moment that cancerous devil showed his face.  That lingering tightness.  I dealt with feeling like I might be getting sick starting... early 2009 at the latest - maybe before.  Finally in May it turned into a cough.  I thought the head cold was progressing.  Well we know the end of that story and who knows if they would have even thought to test me or found anything in early 2009.  Maybe it would have been stage 1 then?  We can do all of the what ifs we can think of but the truth is, I battled Stage 3, came out on the sunny side of that rainstorm, and am biking off into clear skies.  But you know how once one of those fun midwestern thunderstorms passes and you can still see the sky flashing?  You know how you can still hear the rolling thunder in the distance.  Well, as I'm cycling into that blue sky, I can still hear the rolling laughter of that damn devil behind me.  I know, I trust, I have faith that the Good Lord is watching over me and this tightness in my throat is nothing.  But it does make me wonder and think...

Best medication I've found is getting into that saddle.  Headed out for a quick 24 minute ride tonight.  Once the blood started pumping and the fresh air filled my lungs... man... that's the medication to flow through the body.  Felt better than ever.  Now that I'm back, HR is back to normal, and I'm sitting here - it's back on my mind a little bit.  But I wont let it get to me.  I can't let it get to me. 

LIVESTRONG