Cancer Community

To outsiders, hearing a phrase like "cancer community" may raise some eyebrows but that really is what we are now part of.  And it isn't just me after having gone through treatment but Sarah too - being impacted directly by my struggle.  As part of the community we get added support from others, have met a lot of great friends, learned a lot of amazing things, but also take on the emotional burden as we support those around us.

This past week has been rough on me, but relatively speaking it's been a really easy week.  A good friend of mine who was diagnosed with Hodgkin's a year ago just relapsed after only 5 months post treatment.  It has come back aggressive and the way to fight it is to fight it aggressively.  Jeff (who's journey has been documented here) will be going in tomorrow for yet another bone marrow biopsy and then will start the path of getting a BMT and a regimen of strong chemo.  I feel so blessed that I haven't had a relapse, but it doesn't make it right either.  Why did it happen to him but not to me?  Questions like that which are standard "survivors guilt" questions.

What is has been more than anything is a reminder of how much I hate cancer as well as a reminder to appreciate the little things in life.  Due to his tumor biopsy Jeff isn't able to pick up his kids for 2 weeks; I can't imagine a day coming home and not picking up Gabbie for a huge hug.  Just as his body was getting back to normal and he was feeling healthy, it will quickly return to the struggles of being beat up by chemo, medication, stress; it isn't spoken of by many, but as he mentioned in his latest blog you forget how when you are healthy you don't appreciate a normal GI tract.  Another friend from Bend OR just shared with me that his chemo chair partner has been placed in hospice.  Another relative has a neighbor with an aggressive cancer who is declining chemo and just establishing hospice to make the most of the rest of her life.  Once you are part of this community you never leave it.

On the phone today Jeff was commenting on how nice it is to talk to someone who has gone through it before - someone who can relate to semi of information, emotions, and questions that slams you as you hear those words from an oncologist.  But the community isn't just the patients - it's those around them too.  My friend Patrick has never been (and hopefully never will be) diagnosed, but he was right at his father's side through his journey.  Cancer touched Patrick in such a powerful way that he has gotten involved and is our Senior Leader for the area through LIVESTRONG.

All of us who are part of this cancer community take on a huge, empathetic burden, but we are also here for anyone who needs the added prayers, positive thoughts, and encouragement.  But it isn't always easy.  I squeezed Gabbie even tighter when I got home tonight, I thought about Jeff and prayed for him my whole ride home, and tonight my heart is heavy.