Cancer Survivor - The Great Teacher

I guess if I ever get asked the question again, "who was your best teacher?" or maybe even the "who was your best mentor?" or "what taught you the most in life?" I'll have to say Cancer.  Cancer is the great teacher and the blessing, as much as it is the great thorn in the side.  Cancer is a life-changing event.  It teaches patience, it asks you to appreciate relationships in your life, it asks you to forgive more fully, it requires you to take life in stride, and force the worries to the side - worrying doesn't add a minute to your life. 

Being a "cancer survivor" is a very unique thing.  Once I found that "label" it was accompanied with the greatest community around.  These are people who have supported me, taught me how to work through the rough times, and keep on riding the bike to roll on through.  Being a cancer survivor is nothing like being able to say that I'm a St Norbert College Alumnus.  I became a cancer survivor on 10/31/2009.  Naturally some people think that I'd be a "survivor" on Feb 25 (date of my NED PET scan) or Apr 20 (date of my last chemo).  But it takes a true fighting heart to get over that first conversation of hearing "you have cancer".  Survivorship was part of my treatment, and unlike being an alumnus where college is just a grouping of memories, cancer survivorship is a new way of life.  It's with me, Sarah, our new family, and our extended family and friends every day. 

Onto more of the reason for this blog...

Yesterday could be noted on the calendar as "doctor day".  We had an appointment with Overlake for Gabriella and Sarah at 145 to start the afternoon.  At this appointment they weighed Gabbie (she is back to her birth weight already!), did an overall check of how she is doing (heart and lungs sound great), and do a hearing test.  Sarah will blog more about her whole birth story a bit later, but one thing we noticed about Gab right away was that next to her left ear are some little bumps.  Her pediatrician said that it's just based on how the ear grew and sometime it is related to hearing issues, but mostly it will just be cosmetic.  Because of this we were eager and hopeful to get to her test.  Her right ear was just fine.  For her left, it took a while but after getting a different size probe (and making our blood pressure jump) she passed with flying colors (great job Gabbie!).  Sarah's portion of the appointment also went well, and as part of it, Gabbie was fed and wow can that girl eat.  She took in over 2 oz in just the short feeding so they aren't worried about her getting enough food at all.

Then we went over to Group Health for my 3 month check-up.  I've been feeling great and fit.  The only thing I've notice was that slight tightness in my throat which I had over a year ago, but I never wanted to let it get to me.  My blood work was fine, but we hadn't heard anything on the CT.  Dr. Chen is such a great oncologist but he is also read like a book.  Immediately I knew the appointment wouldn't be going as we had hoped.  For the most part the CT looked good.  My lymph nodes look fine, nearly everything is the way they want to see it.  However, "there is increased prominence of soft tissue in the inferior aspect of the superior mediastinum. While it has the configuration of the thymus, it is larger than on the prior study, measuring 2.8 x 4.0 cm and appears of somewhat rounded and vascular. This may represent rebound thymus but lymphoma is a consideration. No other hilar or mediastinal adenopathy is identified. Lung windows show no pulmonary nodules.

What the heck does that mean?  Just what I thought other than knowing they wouldn't tell me if it wasn't worth concern.  In young people the thymus sometimes is slightly enlarged.  So it could mean that I'm completely normal.  However, in previous scans the thymus wasn't enlarged.  Based on my history, it could also be related to lymphoma.  So the next step is to get in for a PET scan (these are only done on Thursday's so hopefully next week).  The PET scan will tell us a little bit more about what type of cellular tissue is in there.  One thing that Dr. Chen mentioned is that typically and based on my diagnosis he figured if it would come back it would return in my neck.  This offers some of that added hope, or, the PET scan could show some activity beyond the thymus.  But at least nothing is at an enlarged tumor stage if anything.

I, of course, have been looking ahead to what this could all mean, but not allowing it to get to me.  If it is just lymphoma in the thymus they typically treat with radiation which is something I never wanted to do.  I do want to see if there would be other options, but even though I once said I would never go through treatment like that again, I'll do whatever I need to get back to or stay in the best help possible to take care of my girls.  They need me and I need them. 

We might be going back into the trenches, but I'm hopeful that we aren't.  I still don't know why I have this tightness in my neck, but I'm going to spend every chance I get loving Ella Bella before going back to work next week (other than I think I need to get a bike ride in if possible). 

We likely have nothing to worry about, but please, keep us in your prayers.  I'd much rather deal with more of this than have Gabbie with issues, so if I have to take another round and have her hearing always be perfect, I'll take whatever they give me.  We'll keep you perfect just the way you are Gabriella. I should have results from the PET right away on Friday of next week (pending getting an appointment for Thursday) so we will let you know how that goes.

Keep praying, keep fighting, if you have even a spare penny - please keep donating to LIVESTRONG because we are going to find an end to this.  I'm a proud member of TEAM 28, but I'm going to be just as proud when that is TEAM 0.

"The day I was diagnosed with cancer was the day I started to live." -Lance Armstrong