Operation 20

It is fair to say that I'm feeling more comfortable in my own skin.  And I've wanted to post about this for a little while but didn't want to jinx myself either.  However, especially after people took vacation between Christmas and the New Year, more comments are coming my way.  First let me give you some of the back story.  Sophomore year of college kicked my butt.  The "freshman 15" didn't do much to me, but I put my stamp on the Sophmore 20-25.  The SNC cafe wasn't the best so my typical meal revolved around the salad bar, but then the pasta bar too.  I was always so active with basketball that I never worried about it (my parents called me the human garbage disposal), but when I stopped balling as much and started drinking more beer - it was a recipe for disaster.  But I dealt with it - it wasn't anything too worrisome.  Jump ahead to after moving to Seattle and meeting Sarah.  I was never "comfortable" because I didn't like the weight on my midsection but I knew Sarah's love was more than that.  When I was going through chemo, I was on steroids that increased my appetite and from hearing everyone talk about all the different people who dwindle to nothing during cancer, I wanted to keep weight on!!

I did just that.  My max weight (that I know of) during treatment and in my life was 186.  After treatment I got it back down into the 170s.  I kept more toward the top end with a few "I need to go on a diet" drops - before returning to old habits.  The day before Thanksgiving I got on the scale and it put up its middle finger at me - along with the number 178.  I thought, "man.. I need to watch what I do, at least maintain this weight through Christmas and then focus on getting the weight down."

I got off the scale.

That one action of the morning ruined my day.  I thought about it through the day and later in the afternoon I went back up to the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror, put up my middle finger at the scale, and decided "why am I going to wait until after Christmas.  New Years resolutions never work.  It's hype and then it disappears.  If you want to change something, do it now."

And I have - and still am.

I've gone back to tracking my meals (I use the MyPlate LIVESTRONG app, but you can also track online if you dont have a smartphone), focusing on exercise, focusing on drinking enough water, focusing on being willing to say no to sweets and seconds.  As always, the first few pounds really melt off quickly - most of it is water weight.  I've hit 2 mini plateaus so far, but just remind myself to kick start things a bit more.  I only treat myself to sweets every so often - and only if I've exercised - a good burn, not just a short run or walk. I dont eat after 7pm.

I think that my greatest Christmas gift this year was from Sarah.  Knowing I needed new jeans she looked at what kind I have in the closet - 34x30 and 33x30 depending on the brand.  She wanted to encourage but not insult me and got me 32x30.  I was surprised, but I tried them on anyway.  Not only do they fit, but they are a little loose.

Today when I was on the scale I was 163.2.  No I'm not blowing away.  No I'm not sick.  No I'm not being unhealthy about it.  I'm getting enough nutrients and good nutrients.  At one point during chemo I said I would love if I could get to 157 (my scroll number for TKE).  I'm hoping to be there soon, but that isn't my end goal yet.  I feel better when I run and walk.  I have more energy.  I've said in the past that I can't take any more pounds off my good bike unless I take it off me - climbing hills with 10 fewer pounds really helps the power-to-weight ratio of cycling.

After we were married we played volleyball with some friends.  Sarah still comments about remembering how self-conscious I was.  I hated it.  The only thing that was comfortable about it was knowing that Sarah loved me no matter what and I wasn't there to impress any other girls.  I'm going to keep at this and hope to play volleyball this summer - fine with having my shirt off.

Like I said, I didn't want to post anything about my "Operation 20" to jinx myself but its going well.  We got through the holiday season, and its been just over a month since starting.  It takes 3 months to establish a habit - I like the direction this one is taking.